It Was a Secret, You Could Not Even Tell Your Mother

I cannot recall when my menstrual cycle began. If I had to guess, I would say sometime around the age of 12. I do remember that when I got my period, I had no idea what was going on. No one had told me anything and no one was going to. I was afraid and not entirely sure of what I had to do or who I had to talk to. At some point, I spoke to my mother after she noticed that something had changed. She told me a bit about what was happening to me, but did not go into detail. She taught me two lessons that I was not to forget:

I was to stay away from boys at all cost or suffer the consequences – an unwanted pregnancy. She did not explain any further and I was left with the impression that just going near a boy would get me pregnant.
I was not to tell anyone about it. It was a topic that was best not discussed, at any time with anyone. In those times, everything around womanhood and in particular, periods, was a secret that you had to keep to yourself. You did not even talk to your sisters or friends about it, unless you absolutely had to.

My mother taught me what I had to do each month when mother nature came to visit. I was to use homemade pads fashioned out of old blankets or clothes. She made me some which I could use, especially for school. These were not like the pads that are used today and there was no science behind them. This meant that I often had accidents at school.

Each month brought with it the same set of challenges which made being at school very difficult. Children can be cruel and I remembered being laughed at by some of the boys at school on the days that the blood seeped through my homemade pad onto my school uniform. Due to the embarrassment and shame I often stayed at home during my period. One of the most difficult parts was that when I did return to school, I could not tell anyone why I had missed school. The teachers would therefore punish me for missing school without a legitimate excuse. Each month brought with it the same set of challenges which made being at school very difficult.

I do remember one terrible experience I had. It was during the school athletic training when I was still young. I was running in one of the heats when my makeshift pad fell out in front of the other students and teachers. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I did not know what to do. Some of the female teachers who had seen what had happened came to my rescue. I and my makeshift pad were removed from the field and the training continued.

I am now a mother and a grandmother. When my daughters began their menstrual cycles I made sure they had the information they needed to adequately take care of themselves. At first it was difficult to discuss a topic that I had been taught as a child was taboo, but now I am open because I realize how important it is to educate children about their bodies. I know there are organizations in Zimbabwe which go around schools educating young women and girls about their menstrual cycle and the importance of good hygiene. This makes me very happy because it means that more girls no longer have to endure the trauma that I did as a young girl.

Rutendo, 56

Zimbabwe