My story begins when I was 10 years old. I wish I could say that it was an exciting experience or one I was aware I would one day have. I grew up in Zimbabwe where womanhood wasn’t a private thing among the women in the family. That meant that at every stage of my growth not just my mum was involved, but some of my aunts were too. Being an overweight 10-year-old, I was already self-conscious and shy so on that fateful day when I came home puzzled and confused as to what was happening I found yet another thing to be self-conscious about.
“womenhood isn’t a private thing...”
On that day, as I walked home from school, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but I felt odd. I figured I was just tired from a busy school week and looked forward to taking a nap when I got home. As I changed out of my school uniform, once I got home, I noticed something that confused me. I had somehow managed to hurt myself in an awkward spot, or so I thought. Since I shared a room with my younger sister, nothing was ever private. She was in the room at the time and noticed the blood on my undergarments and immediately ran screaming to the maid for help. I think my sister was more freaked out than I was. Luckily, our maid knew exactly what was going on. She got me some cotton wool from and helped me to clean up. She explained that I was experiencing part of womanhood and that as soon as my mum got home, she would talk to me about this “exciting” new chapter of my life. Did I mention how much of a pain, cotton wool is to clean up? It tends to get everywhere and if not positioned well or if it shifts, it really becomes useless. Ok, I won’t go into any further details, but you get the picture.
When my mum came home she took me aside and explained that I had just started my period; a natural thing for a woman and that from here on out it would come every month. Mum went and bought me pads to use, which by the way felt like I was wearing a mini diaper, but were way better than the cotton wool from earlier; she helped me to understand how to use them. As much as I was young for starting my period, it came with all sorts of complications. It came with major abdominal cramps, headaches, backaches…you name it I got it.
“I had the most embarrassing experience of my life. ”
On my second day of growing into womanhood, I had the most embarrassing experience of my life. Here I was a 10-year-old at school, trying to come to grips with the things I could and couldn’t do anymore thanks to this life change. It was break-time and I was sitting with my friends. As we stood up and prepared to return to class, a couple of older girls approached me. Much to my mortification, I had leaked onto my school uniform. They were kind enough to lend me a sweater to cover up and took me to one of the female teachers who helped me to clean up as best she could. I can’t even explain to you how much I wanted the earth to open and just swallow me whole. I kept thinking, how many people had seen my mishap and what they were thinking now. Unfortunately, my accident didn’t warrant going home, so I had to suffer through the rest of the day.
Remember earlier when I said that womanhood in Zimbabwe isn’t a private thing and some of my aunts would be involved? Well, the very next weekend, my mum sent me to my dad’s sister whom culturally is called Tete. She didn’t tell me why I was going over. I didn’t think anything of it, even though my sisters were not coming along this time. The fact that my cousins, who were boys weren’t home either, didn’t faze me. I mean I went over to my aunt’s from time to time to do some baking, so in my mind, it was one of those days.
“Surprise! ”
Surprise! It was to have another talk about womanhood. A much more in depth talk about womanhood. Tete went to great lengths to try to make me understand that I couldn’t play with boys the same way I had before. I couldn’t “rough-house” it anymore…I was a bit of a tomboy growing up. So in essence, avoid wrestling with boys or any activities where they could see my underwear. I had to become more modest and hang with adult women more. Tete also went into great detail about the female reproductive organs and how important it was to keep my virginity till marriage. I was ten! Most of what she said I didn’t fully grasp until at least a year later when we were taught about it in school.
As much as my period came with a lot of pain and discomfort, I was always grateful to have pads. Using cotton wool for my first day of my first period had been a very uncomfortable experience and I can’t imagine how other girls who don’t have access to pads or even cotton wool get through their monthly visitor. Although I didn’t understand half of what I was going through when I was ten, I was fortunate enough to have a good support system in my mum, my aunts and our maid. I know many girls aren’t as lucky as I was in getting the help I needed. My support system made sure I had the supplies I needed and answered any questions I had.
Tsungi, 34
Zimbabwe